Below The Headlines - 18

Male 'organs' are disappearing at an alarming rate and President Tinubu is not saying anything. And the question everyone is asking finally gets an answer - is Tems pregnant?

Good to be back after a one week absence enforced by being in Stellenbosch, South Africa attending the Africa In The World festival last week. I will have some more to share on it soon. In the meantime, please enjoy this photo I took of the effortless beauty of the Western Cape.

Last week, Tobi wrote a couple of pieces on the many failures of Lagos as a city and the trouble he found with a new paper on the causes of inflation in Nigeria. I also wrote a review of Olumide Soyombo’s new memoirs and the unexpected lesson I found in it.

Inside Nigeria

An upstanding tricycle rider who found and returned N15 million to its owner has received a handsome reward from the Kano Matchmaking Marriage Association, pour encourager les autres: “However, while joining the rest of the people to offer their donation, the matchmaking group promised four women for him to marry to be selected from 10 women.” - Daily Trust

Adamawa government bans tree felling as part of efforts to combat climate change. Suffering ensues: “Stephen Moses, 23, whose family depends on charcoal to cook paints a pathetic picture. “Due to the increased price of charcoal, my family has had to reduce the number of meals we cook at home from three to two,” he explained. The ban has forced them to manage the limited supply of the currently illegal product.” - Humangle

A recent cult clash in Sagamu killed 20 - TWENTY - people. It barely made the news and people in the area are living in a state of permanent fear: “FIJ also learnt from the resident that the clashes have recently developed from being just violent fights between rival student cult groups to bloody disputes involving indigenes who not only parade themselves as cult members but also belong to dangerous fraternities as well” - Foundation for Investigative Journalism

Abubakar Sambo, the owner of the Bureau de Change in Abuja that was used by House of Reps members for an extortion scheme involving universities, gives an interview to defend himself and his business. It includes this gem of a line: “There was no reason to suspect anything” - Premium Times

Lagos State government is clamping down on faded vehicle plates. The question really needs to be asked as to why they’re fading in the first place: “In a sane environment, the producers of the number plates should have been queried whether it is a government agency or a contractor. Please, Governor Babajide Sanwo-Olu should take a ride across Lagos State and see the huge number of faded number plates in town. It clearly shows that something is wrong somewhere with the production. It is only in Nigeria that when people fail in their duty post, the citizens suffer and pay for it” - Guardian

What passes for ‘affordable housing’ in Lagos is a building with 500 rooms. One such building recently collapsed in Ketu: “On Sunday afternoon, as residents were still trying to salvage their belongings, the building crumbled again, destroying another structure inside the compound before collapsing completely.” - Punch

As mentioned previously, education is one of the areas currently feeling the greatest impact from the current economic crises. Why, I ask again, is education never a target of ‘palliatives’? “I live in Wuse 11 and was paying N130,000, N115,000 and N95, 000 for each of my three children who are in JSS 2, Primary 5 and Primary 2. Sadly, the proprietor of the private school has increased the fees by 50 per cent. They also doubled the cost of transportation and this is practically not sustainable. I am moving them to Keffi in Nasarawa State” - Daily Trust

Male organs continue to go missing and President Tinubu is saying nothing about it: “Our correspondent gathered that the man identified as John had raised the alarm that his organ could not be found after coming in contact with the yet-to-be-identified person. Angered by the claim, the mob gathered around him and reportedly beat him to a pulp and demanded that he should restore the purported missing organ.” - Punch

The Police in Abuja have however debunked the stories of disappearing male organs. But, in the words of an Afrobeats sage - you go explain tire, no evidence: “An incident involving Rokeeb Saheed, who accused Lucky Josiah of causing his male organ’s disappearance, prompted this warning. After medical examinations, Saheed’s male organ was confirmed to be fine and Josiah’s injuries were treated” - Guardian

Meanwhile in Calabar: “Men now put bitter kola and alligator pepper in their pockets or hold their private organs tightly while walking on the street or inside commercial vehicles. The price of bitter kola has also gone up because of the high demand” - Vanguard

And in Kogi: “Upon screaming and crying for help, neighbours and passersby attacked the suspect and gave him a thorough beating of his life. The eye witness further said the suspect confessed to the crime after the thorough beating and expressed joy that the manhood of the shop owner has been restored.” - Tribune

Water travel has been the cheapest form of travel known to man for as long as anyone can travel. This remains the case in northern Nigeria and sadly it remains as dangerous as ever. The latest mishap in Adamawa claimed 13 lives and the survivors have been telling their stories: “On our return, a severe storm hit us. The driver told us to disembark as the canoe was about to sink, but we were in the middle of the river. The canoe capsized, and I began to drown. I was unconscious when rescued and woke up in an unfamiliar house” - Humangle

A sentence to ponder: “A 23-year-old man arrested for kidnapping in Edo State has expressed regret for his actions because the baby cow he bought with the proceeds of the crime died while he was attempting to hide it from his father” - Tribune

Tems is not pregnant. Do with this information as you please, I’m only here to share facts: “The 28-year-old songstress wrote: “In conclusion, you people are all mad!!!” - Leadership

Outside Nigeria

Nigerians, and the world, continue to come to terms with the dark underbelly of the music that has given us so much joy and dancing. That people are upset about the sheer lack of dignity Mohbad received even in death bodes well for Nigeria’s future: “News of the 27-year-old’s death in a clinic after treatment for an ear infection, filtered in last Tuesday. Within hours of his death, the six-foot artist was buried by members of his family with videos on social media showing his neck bent unnaturally to fit into the coffin. His wife and infant son were not present at the funeral.” - Al Jazeera

Nigerian fashion designer, Mowalola Ogunlesi, debuted a range of skirts made from countries’ flags at the London Fashion Week. One of the designs carried the Saudi flag which caused a lot of anger in that country. After initially mocking the people who got angry, she finally apologised and removed the Saudi flag design: “After the show, I found that one of these flags - Saudi Arabia - features sacred words, and its use has caused great offense. Now that I’ve been educated on this topic, I sincerely apologise for this” - CNN

Chioma Nnadi was handpicked by Anna Wintour to succeed Edward Enninful as the editor of British Vogue. But who is she? The Times has a go at a profile: “There is even a rumour abroad that Nnadi lives with a flatmate, or did until recently — hardly unusual given rents in Manhattan, but perhaps a first for a senior Vogue editor. She probably won’t need to share in London, though her salary at British Vogue is likely to be less than Enninful’s. He is believed to be paid more than £500,000 a year” - The Times

In a piece about how a lot of gold around the world is mined using mercury, and the dangers of doing so, we learn that Nigeria is a big exporter of mercury: “The United States and European Union have since banned virtually all mercury exports, leaving the United Arab Emirates, Tajikistan, Russia, Mexico and Nigeria as some of the largest exporters” - New York Times

The Nigerian midfielder Ogenyi Onazi, who previously played in Italy, Turkey, Denmark, Lithuania, Saudi Arabia and Bahrain, has now joined Kitchee, a club in Hong Kong: ““He wanted me to study, to become a doctor or an accountant,” Onazi said. “He thought people who played sports were those who had nothing else to do.”” - South China Morning Post

Everyone knows that RnB music peaked in the 90s. So it’s good to see a new band of young guys - No Guidnce - getting really popular on tiktok reviving the genre. Invariably one of them is Nigerian: “Ebubé, the quietest of the bunch, grew up in a Nigerian household in north east London, with a gospel singer mum” - Evening Standard

Organised crime gangs are stealing lots of cars in Canada and the US east coast and sending them to West Africa: “Social media accounts show the fate of vehicles sent to places like Nigeria. Some have US plates still attached. Others are marketed as 'foreign used,' a term indicating that they may have been stolen and sent abroad. A TikTok account advertising DPG Glow Auto, a dealership in Onitsha, shows cars with foreign license plates and decals being rolled out of shipping containers.” - Daily Mail

A profile of the nicest man in football, Taiwo Awoniyi of Nottingham Forest, who has been on quite the journey in his career: “In six years, Awoniyi went on loan to six clubs in Germany, the Netherlands and Belgium: FSV Frankfurt, NEC Nijmegen, Royal Excel Mouscron (twice), Gent, Mainz and Union Berlin. Then Union bought him from Liverpool for £6.5m in July 2021, before his move to Forest in 2022.” - Guardian

Nigerian government leased land in Cross River in 1962 but abandoned it 8 years later. Then in 2012 it transferred the lease on the land to Wilmar, a palm oil producer. You can guess what happened in the intervening years. But who owns the land now?: “As the government had ignored repeated appeals to to pay annual rent and other benefits, it had lost its title to the estate and could not hand it over to Wilmar. The government dismisses this argument by saying it can dispose of the Ibiae estate as it pleases under the terms of the 1978 Land Use Act” - Mongabay

Crypto dies hard in Nigeria: “Cryptocurrency usage is growing in Nigeria as Africa's largest economy grapples with a weakening currency and soaring inflation, New York-based blockchain research firm Chainalysis said in a report on Tuesday. Nigeria's volume of crypto transactions grew 9% year-over-year to $56.7 billion between July 2022 and June 2023” - Reuters

Update on the story of cheating at an international nurse testing centre in Ibadan that was putting the careers of several Nigerian nurses in the UK in jeopardy. The UK’s Nursing and Midwifery Council has now concluded its investigation and found ‘widespread fraud’ at the centre. 48 nurses will have their registrations withdrawn, subject to them defending themselves while hundreds of others have been asked to retake their tests: “A further 467 registrants and 771 applications, who sat their CBT at the centre but are not suspected of fraud, will also have to retake their test. This is because the NMC “cannot have confidence in any CBT result from this test centre and we’re treating all CBTs obtained at Yunnik as invalid” - Nursing Times

Devakumar Edwin, an executive director at Dangote Group, gave an interview recently about the long waited Dangote Refinery and the funniest part was where NNPC essentially admitted to have sold the same crude to multiple people. Is this a case for the EFCC? “At the last minute [NNPC] said, 'We have actually committed our crude on forward basis to someone else', so immediately they don't have the crude” - SP Global

News about a recent drug bust by Police in Korea: “The drug ring, run by a Korean, a Chinese and a Nigerian national, based in Cambodia, China and Nigeria, respectively, is suspected of smuggling and distributing methamphetamine in Korea between November last year and June, according to the Seoul Metropolitan Police Agency” - Korea Times

Nice feature on the highly regarded Dubai based British-Nigerian chef and entrepreneur behind the world’s number one olive oil brand, Izu Ani: “They said he wouldn’t do well in life. A distracted boy from a tough part of London, UK. The child of a single parent, immigrant household. The odds were stacked against him but the will of steel and tenacity his Nigerian mum taught him with her own struggles, defines the culinary icon that is Chef Izu Ani today” - Gulf News

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See you next week!